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Wednesday, October 12, 2016

MS, a Relationship Killer?


                                                                  
  

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MS is miserable on relationships. Not only for your significant other but all relationships. Your family and friends craves you will be better and your significant other runs away scared.
I knew it was bad when I heard my boyfriend start the conversation with “what am I going to do with you?” Followed by “I don’t know if I signed up for this.” If the broken feeling mid back wasn’t bad enough my heart is then ripped from my chest.
I know I’m to be strong, brave, and independent but realizing you are destined to be handicapped longterm and alone is dreadful. Memories rush your mind “I’ll love you forever and be with you forever”.
I do not walk well at all. I fall a lot sometimes very hard. The intense pain in my back makes me frequently wish I did not exist. The falls hurt and followed with comments is very cruel.
I’m 46 criminalized by MS almost 9 years. What am I going to do? A good thing I never had children to burden. My parents are still alive. I live on my own so luckily they don’t have to know how much I struggle. My brother cringes and winces watching me move. I had hoped my boyfriend was learning about me and I could emotionally lean on him a little. My friends don’t come around.




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1 comment:

Ramanujan Rajagopalachari said...

As my friend narrated, I too a person with MS. MS was identified 30 years back (1987). Now I am 60. Since 1996 I staY alone. Though with walking problem, I don't use any aids or not let my relatives to know my illness. Even my blood relatives not realised my illness. Of course timely visit to family. Do my professional. Thanking my friends for support. Viewer of me say that I am with drugs or drunk I don't care but I am for me.