MS Lesson Learned: ‘Let People in; They Can Handle It.’

Trish Palmer has found that accepting help and being open about MS 

is better for her personal relationships.

By Beth Levine

In 2013, Trish Palmer had the world on a string. She had a job she loved as a registered nurse and a live-in boyfriend, Peter (not his real name), who was a real stand-up guy. But in October of that year, her life started to change. One morning, she woke up, and her whole right side was numb and tingling.

“I could move, but it was strange. I let it go three days, but then I started to have trouble walking, because I couldn’t feel my foot or toes,” Palmer recalls.

Her doctor put her through a battery of tests that were inconclusive then referred her to a neurologist, who made the diagnosis of multiple sclerosis (MS).

Reluctance to Accept Help Contributes to Romantic Breakup

Palmer was determined to handle the disease on her own. “I’m not someone who likes to ask for help,” she admits.

Peter wanted to share the journey with her. He asked about treatments and about how he could help. Could he take her to appointments and sit with her? No, said Palmer.

“I tend to be a handle-it-myself person, and it became a strain on our relationship to be going through something like this that I wasn’t sharing with him. It caused him to distance himself a bit, because I think he felt shut out,” Palmer says.

Peter didn’t fully understand what was happening to her and got frustrated by the limited information he was receiving. He went online to see what relationships with someone who has MS can be like and didn’t like what he read. The two eventually broke up in the summer of 2015.

New Treatment Option Enables Major Job Change

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